October 2008: Put on roller skates for the first time. Attend Boston Derby Dames skate clinics and receive homework from Britknee Breaker and Speedy Dan. Spend 3 weeks completing homework in a sketchy tennis court, at night in Roxbury. Slowly recruit a freshmeat crew and a ref and start practicing pack skating and endurance.November 9th 2008: I make tryouts and start the 3 months freshmeat training.
Febraury 1st 2009: Freshmeat draft. Freshies participate in final scrimmage with a few vets. I am knocked to the floor and cause a pile up. I sustain a compound fracture to my collar bone and are immediately hospitalized. Leahy Clinic releases me at 1am with a sling a Ibuprofen (which prevents bone fusion). I get the call shortly after that I am drafted as a Nutcracker.
February 3rd 2009: I awake to my bone beginning to breaking through the skin. I am immediately hospitalized at Brigham and Women's. I'm put on a combo of morphine, vicodin and percs and not allowed to eat food. I am incredibly doped up and throw derby parties in my private suite. 
February 4th 2009: Prepped for surgery. Waiting in the OR with my nervous parents. Operation canceled due to high volume of 'emergency cases' and I am unprepped. Apparently there is a massive ice storm and elderly people are collapsing in the streets with broken hips. I'm allowed to eat a bagel. I'm starving, doped and post to the derby board that I have plans in two weeks to buy pillows at IKea and cross train. 
February 5th 2009: I'm given a nerve blocker pre operation in the form of three large needles to the side of the neck which I stay awake for and talk to the doctors so they would know whether or not they hit a nerve. I'm given amnesia medication which I am convinced has long term side effects. Surgery completed. I awake with a titanium plate in my shoulder and shout the words I HAVE TO PEE! A clamer if nurses rummage through the bed sheets and I hear, "you forgot to put the catheter in". I experience a pain worse than breaking a bone. I'm put on oxygen tank with no capacity to move the left side of my body. My face droops like a stroke victim and I'm drooling. I'm on intravenous morphine from which I'm allowed to hit a glowing green button for an extra dose once every 7 minutes. I'm terrified to sleep because I believe I will stop breathing and die (I was told that my left lung would slow down or not function because of the nerve blocker, this in my mind equates to dieing). I have eaten less than a bagel and have not moved my bowels (sorry guys) in over a week.
Febraury 6th 2009: In my drug induced stupor I can't remember if I've submitted my derby name (which is now late) Pocahotness or iPhast 2.0 (most likely PocaHOTNESS) at which time my derby name Speed Metal is submitted on my behalf by Xena Paradox. I have little recollection of this in the future. My friend who is a doctor in training arrives at the hospital, breaks into the nurses station to 'borrow' my file, and rules out my fear that the doctors are trash talking me in their notes and swiftly replaces the file.
Febraury 7th 2009: I refuse to leave the hospital or walk around. I've eaten a half of a chocolate bar and survived on sweet tea from an aluminum can. They tell me the longer I stay in the hospital the more likely I'm going to catch MRSA. I get the attractive doctors email and leave promptly.
Season 2009: I attend 98% of my practices at the best of my ability. First three months confined to a sling. Following three months no contact and no falling. I ride the bench for 7 months and gain game play knowledge through osmosis and bout videos.
August 15th 2009: Cleared for contact. Doctors encourage me to ease into it. I attend a black and white mixed home team and Massacre scrimmage the following Sunday. I want to cry.
October 23rd 2009: Nutcrackers have a 10 person roster due to injuries and pregnancies. I am rostered for the championship bout and it will be my first bout ever. We sweep the Fez cup with an undefeated season.
